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I turned to face Q once more.." but he was gone. The jolly
white-haired man had vanished from behind his desk. But his presence
was most certainly still there. It filled the room, it filled my very
essence. Picard suddenly flinched in his chair, covering his ears.
Data sat there.
The voice came from everywhere. "I have never liked you,
Q. None of us has. And many is the time I've said that I will bring
you into line with the rest of the Continuum if it is the last thing I
ever do. Well, Q.. . I am rapidly running out of opportunities. Time
is growing short, and even I, with all my ennui, have a few goals I
would still like to accomplish. You are among them. You will not
leave the Continuum. You will remain here, of your own accord or not,
that is your choice. But remain you will. Do you understand me, Q
?"
I did not hesitate. I grabbed Picard by one wrist, Data by the other,
and yanked them both to their feet. Suddenly all of reality seemed to
explode around me. For a moment, just a moment, I was certain that I
had waited too long, that the End had actually come. I imagined that I
heard my son and wife calling to me, except they were speaking not in
fear, but in anger. "You've failed us! You've failed us! You, with
all your power and pride and arrogance.." you could have, should have,
done so much more! Instead you let us down! When all was said and
done.." you weren't omnipotent! You weren't all-powerful. You
weren't ever around! You are the weakest of the weak!"
I tried to speak, but I was unable to, because I knew they were
right.
And then everything went mercifully black.
There are certain occasions--we need not be specific at this time, but
we all know to what I'm alluding--when one wishes, upon regaining
consciousness, that one hadn't, because oblivion was far better than
discovering the truth. I can tell you, categorically, that this
happened to be one of those times.
I opened my eyes and felt a great heaviness, as if my eyelids weighed
several pounds each. Picard was standing a few feet away, looking
concerned. Data was next to him, with that annoying deadpan look he so
often exhibited. I realized they were looking up at me, and drew from
that the logical conclusion that I must be looking down at them. I was
elevated for some reason, but I had no idea why. I tried to move my
head, to glance around and get an assessment of the situation, but I
found I was totally paralyzed. I couldn't move my head so much as an
inch. I tried to move my mouth and, lo and behold, I could speak.
"What are you gawking at, Picard?"
He appeared visibly relieved, if for no other reason than that I was
yelling at him. I found I could turn my eyes around a bit and so I got
just a little sense of where we were. It was a park, with trees and
walking paths all around.
"What is that annoying sound right next to my ear?"
"Would you be referring to a sort of 'cooing' sound?" Data inquired.
"Yes.
"Ah. That would be the pigeon on your head."
"Pigeon!"
"Yes. A large white and gray specimen."
"Get it off me!" I said in no uncertain terms. "Before it..."
Data, unfortunately, did not move quickly enough. Considering that the
android prided himself on the speed with which he processed
information, I have to say that he was very slow on the uptake in this
instance. The pigeon cooed once more, left a second little gift on my
head, and then fluttered away. "New York," I muttered, "is becoming
tiresome."
Picard pulled a handkerchief from the inside pocket of his jacket and
handed it to Data. Interesting that he would have Data clean me off.
Just goes to show that they may be friends, but they're not equals.
While Data was attending to business, Picard asked me, "Q... can you
move?"
"Oh sure, Picard. I'm just practicing pantomime. Better yet, I've
decided birds need more statues to poop on, so I'm obliging them. No,
of course I can't move!" I said in exasperation. "Do you seriously
think I'd be posed like this.." how am I posed, anyway?"
"Your arms are outstretched, and your right leg is forward of your left
and slightly bent."
"Wonderful. I look like an Irish step dancer."
"May we safely assume," asked Data, "that you have been frozen in place
by your fellow Q, so that you cannot in any way interfere with the
impending End of the universe?"
"That is a safe assumption, yes." Outwardly, I maintained my normal
air of sangfroid. Inwardly, I raged. Were I to voice the fury that
was roiling within me, however, it might have come across in an
extremely un-Q-like manner. Perhaps, in the final analysis, that was
why I had wanted Picard with me in this adventure. As long as he was
around, I would
be disinclined to give in to the despair that threatened to overwhelm
me. Stiff upper lip and all that good stuff.
"They appear to have put you on a pedestal, Q," Picard observed. "Even
in the face of oblivion, your fellow Q retain a sense of irony."
"They can retain this.t" I said, and I tried to make a lewd gesture but
was unsuccessful.
"Can you break free?"
"If I could, do you think I would be standing here? Picard, this is
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