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a
stop Chayara felt exhausted. She hadn't had anything to eat since
leaving
the ship, but it had been quite some time since she'd had anything
like an
appetite. Instead of ordering anything from room service, she
simply went
to bed.
When she woke up it was the next morning, and as soon as her
eyes were
open she knew that she had to order some food. She placed her
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order before
getting into the shower, and by the time she'd dried and dressed
there was
a knock on the door. A small table filled with breakfast dishes was
rolled
inside when she opened the door, and after paying the man who
had brought
the food she was able to sit down and eat.
While Chayara eased the pain in her middle by eating, her mind
came up
with a half dozen different plans - and rejected them all. When she
finally sat back with a second cup of coffee she seemed to be left
with
only a single plan: buy a small house somewhere and never leave it.
She
had more than enough money to do just about anything she
pleased, most of
it in accounts that her family knew nothing about.
With the political situation being what it had been, she'd needed to
be
prepared to disappear at a moment's notice. That woman who had
been
governor could have decided to marry her off even without her
father's
consent, and she knew that her sister and brothers had similar
arrangements. If it had become necessary they all would have
disappeared,
and with none of them knowing about the arrangements the others
had made,
capturing one of them would not have caused the rest to be taken
as well.
"But I can't decide if the house should be here on Evron or on
another
world," Chayara murmured to the coffee in her cup. "If I were on
another
world I'd never have to worry about being found by any of the
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family, but
I'd also never know if something happened where they needed me.
How can I
- "
Chayara's soft words broke off when a knock came at her door,
probably
produced by the man who had brought her food. He'd said
something about
coming back later for the table and empty dishes, and that was
perfectly
all right. She meant to keep her cup and the rest of the coffee, but
the
rest could -
By now Chayara had gone to the door and opened it, but all she
could do
was stand and stare. It wasn't the serving man who had knocked, it
was -
"I really need to talk to you," Rego said, staring down at her with
disturbed gray eyes. "May I come in?"
"How could you possibly have found me?" Chayara was finally able
to ask as
he walked past her without waiting for her agreement. "I left nothing
of a
trail that could be followed."
"You certainly didn't," Rego agreed, stopping in the middle of the
room to
turn back to her. "But I'd like to save explanations for later. Right
now
we need to talk about this business of you being a slut."
"I'd really rather not," Chayara said after closing the door, avoiding
his
gaze as she went back to her coffee. "And since I'll be checking out
of
here soon I'd also appreciate your leaving now."
"Not until I say what I came to," Rego insisted, his tone flat and
final.
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"You've been doing a lot of talking about how much of a slut you
are, but
I'm willing to bet you don't really know what a slut is."
"Of course I know what a slut is," Chayara returned with badly
hidden
impatience, still not looking at him. "A slut is a girl who throws
herself
at men, and if it's in your nature to be a slut there's nothing you can
do
to change it."
"But that's just the point," Rego said at once, and his tone had, for
some
reason, grown more gentle. "I recently found out that it's not in any
girl's nature to be a slut. It's a mode of behavior with a couple of
reasons causing the condition, so let's find out if those reasons
apply to
you. Were you so insecure that you were willing to do anything to
attract
the attention of men, up to and including letting them use your
body?"
"No, of course not," Chayara answered with a small sound of
ridicule,
glancing at Rego where he'd taken a seat on the end of her bed. "I
had
more important things to worry about than attracting the attention of
men.
But that doesn't - "
"Then maybe you were operating from the other cause," Rego said,
interrupting her counterargument. "If a girl is sexually abused at a
very
young age by an older male relative, she'll often be told how special
she
is. She doesn't enjoy the sexual abuse but endures it in order to
continue
being 'special,' but then the abuse comes to an end when she gets
too
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'old.' It often takes a few years, but then she starts to run after men
in
order to regain the special feeling, or to get even with her abuser by
giving others what only he had for so long. Does that reason apply
to
you?"
"No, you know it doesn't," Chayara said, her coffee forgotten as
she
stared at the disturbance in Rego's expression. "I was a virgin when
you
took me to your bed& But what you said doesn't make any sense.
If that
kind of behavior is caused by something other than a girl's nature,
why
would a mother warn a daughter against 'acting like a slut?' If a
daughter
didn't have those reasons moving her, there would be no danger of
- "
"I think you just got part of the truth," Rego said with a smile that
had
no amusement in it. "If the daughter wasn't popular, she could end
up
trading her dignity for a taste of that popularity she wants so badly.
And
you have to remember that most people still don't understand why
some
girls act like that. They see the actions without knowing what
caused
those actions, then jump to the conclusion that the girl involved
wants to
act like that. I didn't understand myself until Jerman showed me a
study
that dug for the truth and found it."
Chayara felt very disturbed over what Rego had said, so much so
that it
took a good minute before she remembered the flaw in his
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argument.
"What you say may be true, but that doesn't explain why I acted
the way I
did," she stated, almost too confused to think. "You can't deny that
what
I did wasn't what a normal woman would do, so - "
"Chayara, you were drugged," Rego interrupted again, now
speaking slowly
and emphasizing each word. "I could see that the girl I meant to
take to
bed wasn't likely to make an effort even to be adequate not to
speak of
good, so I took care of the matter in advance. I fed you the Green
Glow
and called it medication, and you never knew the difference. It had
been
too long since the last time I'd had a woman for me to want a
struggle
instead of enjoyment. The Green Glow guaranteed my enjoyment."
A headshake should have helped Chayara's thinking to clear, but
for some
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